Lizard Man (2012) watch online HD

LizardMan: Terror of the Swamps is a modern classic of the science fiction genre brought to you by the cast and crew of such classics as Big Money Rustlas, Bikini Frankenstein, Dude, Where's My Dog?, Monster of the Nudist Colony, Interracial MILF Orgy #3, and various other achievements in SyFy Network TV movies and softcore/hardcore pornography.

I've seen movies with worse acting than this, but the titles escape me. Most of the movie takes place in a patch of woods off of a dirt road and the other parts take place in a warehouse, er, I mean a soundstage. The film looks like it was shot with a $60 Nikon camera and edited together with Windows Movie Maker.

The "special" effects are very... special. First off, you have the LizardMan himself, dressed in a Halloween novelty fishman costume that you'd see at Wal-Mart on November 3rd because nobody was stupid enough to buy it during Trick or Treat season. And then you have the "gore" effects which are done with CG blood designed in Microsoft Paint and superimposed onto moving victims. I should clarify that the actors are moving, but the CG bloodstains stay static. You can replicate the same effect by standing perfectly still, pouring ketchup into your eye, then moving your hand around in front of your face. Actually, don't do that, because it still looks more realistic than the CG blood they use in this movie. Couldn't they have bought a ten dollar bucket of fake blood from Hot Topic? Anyway, I think this film is attempting to be a homage to the Roger Corman era of low-budget horror and sci-fi films of the 50's and 60's, except that those movies are kind of fun to watch. I can think of about a thousand words to describe this movie, and "fun" isn't one of them.

This film is based on the South Carolina lizard man which everyone I know in South Carolina considers a hoax, as shown in the film. Bill Buxley (Michael Gaglio) saw the creature as a child and now as a rich adult is determined to capture the rubber headed creature who strikes with CG blood splatter.

On the plus side, we see the creature early and often. On the minus side, we see the creature early and often.

It looks like a "Creature from the Black Lagoon" costume. The acting. dialogue, and story line was bad and low budget.

Now I will say that the girl on the cover is in the film and played by porn star Brittany Blaze. However, they spent so much money on the monster costume, they didn't have enough left over to have her remove her top. Instead we have a topless scene with Amy Jokinen (The Bachelor) and Yelena Savranskaya.

Guide: F-bomb and nudity. No sex.

Vengeful and obsessed billionaire Bill Hanson (a solid performance by Mike Gaglio) enlists a team of mercenaries to capture a ferocious reptilian humanoid beast (Matt Easton in a funky rubber suit) so he can prove its existence to an unbelieving world. Things go awry when the monster breaks loose at a press conference and goes on a rampage in Los Angeles.

Director Peter Dang, working from a compact script by Francis Abbey and Steven Goldenberg, keeps the enjoyable story moving along at a quick pace, handles the premise with admirable seriousness and a refreshing dearth of pretense, and stages the savage attack scenes with flair (however, the use of painfully cruddy and obvious CGI blood does blunt the overall impact of said attack scenes). Moreover, the plot offers some inspired tweaking of basic genre conventions, with the lizard man emerging as a victim of such basic human vices as greed and revenge. The sound acting by the capable cast keeps this picture on track, with especially praiseworthy contributions from James Lewis as rugged and honorable soldier of fortune Mark Turnball, Michael Harding as evil and amoral opportunistic jerk Professor Reeves, Steven M. Blasini as pragmatic scientist Carl Harris, Sherri Box as the equally sensible Dr. Sylvia Jenkins, and Tammy Klein as tough mercenary Vicky. Jim Wynorski pops up in a cool cameo as a reporter while porn starlet Angie Savage gets assaulted by the lizard man while swimming in a pool. Chuck Cirio's spirited shuddery score hits the stirring spot. A really fun flick.