Perfect Kiss (2004) watch online HD

Mercedez in one of those insufferable BTS interviews on Vivid DVDs admitted she hates learning and reciting dialog, and director David Stanley obliges by giving the superstar nothing to say in this quite underwhelming star vehicle for her.

It manages to be pretentious (as is all of Stanley's work) and yet simple-minded, as he has adopted a minimalist approach verging on experimental. Most scenes are MOS and played as if in a Silent Movie, with an occasional pointless and brief dialog exchange thrown in for no reason. Occasional over-dubbing of some small talk is irrelevant and pointless.

Title stems from the cast of friends playing Spin the Bottle kissing games, with the first couple of scenes dated 1994 to establish what amounts to a "story". Voluptuous Mercedez is Eric Masterson's girl friend but as a result of a kissing game goes off with their pal Chris Cannon and humps him too. As a result Eric gets mad and violently crashes the wine bottle used for spinning across Cannons face, earning our non-hero a 10-year stretch in prison.

So the "story" picks up in 2004 when he's released, but Stanley steadfastly refuses to go anywhere with it. Like today's Kings of Shaggy Dog Stories for the Cinema (the Coen Bros.), he mocks any and all audience expectations, prankster that he is.

So when Chris and Eric finally make up and let bygones be bygones after they are matched by the spinning bottle in the reunited friends' game (don't worry, they do not kiss and make up), they find themselves locked in a little room (not sure if it's a storage room, as Stanley does his usual cheap, crummy sets routine). Outside Mercedez and pal DevoN Michaels were eavesdropping and instead of helping the boys out of their predicament, the gals head to the bedroom for a strong lesbian session (4 huge jugs on view).

Coda has their idiot friend Steven St. Croix (he has the most dialog in the movie and uses an odd voice, speaking as if retarded) humping the beautiful Cherokee, and then following his money shot on her belly announing (non sequitur time): "I gotta get my stapler" - much to the consternation (and confusion) of poor Cherokee and this viewer. Not content with this doggerel, Stanley follows the end credits with a shot of the locked door as Chris and Eric voiceover conversation about life in stir, meant to be humorous mockery of the fear of homosexual rape in prison -yuck, yuck.

This nonsense has a brief opening scene of the bottle being emptied in the sink and rinsed, made ready for its iconic use as a Spin the Bottle prop for the duration, mocking the "significance" of such portentous opening gambits.

So we're left with sex scenes suitable for Vivid re-use, with my original introduction to "Perfect Kiss" having been via that route, watching her hump in an excerpt for one of those lengthy Mercedez compilation DVDs.