Necropolis (1986) watch online HD

It's a bad day for movies at my place. First I have to stop watching "Funeral Home" due to boredom. Then I put in this movie. Good thing I had my horror magazines to read during the slow parts. One scene with 3 pairs of dripping breasts (on one witch) cannot carry a whole movie.

It begins in the 1600's, yet the witch is wearing 80's make-up and underwear. Also she is doing a none-too-cool 80's dance. I go to 80's dance clubs and have seen nothing so goofy looking as these ridiculous steps. Not as bad as "Ghoulies IV", but quite bad.

"Necropolis" is passable entertainment as far as this kind of low, low budget cheese ball horror goes. It stars LeeAnne Baker as Eva, a witch in 17th century New Amsterdam who lives on through the ages. In the 20th century, she's reincarnated as a leather wearing, motorcycle riding punk babe in a miniskirt. Here she goes about her business of sucking the life out of various chump victims, or otherwise using her power of suggestion to get them to off themselves. Her other order of business is finding some all powerful Satanic ring which further helps her to extend her life span.

Pretty much everything about this agreeably stupid movie is inane, from the dialogue to the characters to the nonsensical "story", concocted by director Bruce Hickey. Of course, you just *know* this one is going to stink to high heaven, seeing that also listed in the credits is Tim Kincaid ("Breeders", "Riot on 42nd Street") as a producer. Ed French supplies the special makeup effects, and as usual his work is about as good as it could have been given whatever minimal budget he must have had. He should take a bow for the one unqualified highlight that "Necropolis" can boast. I won't reveal much, but let's just say that it involves several breasts and several thirsty ghouls.

The performances are every bit as lame as one can expect. Baker is sexy, no doubt about that, but she's pretty dull as an antagonist. Michael Conte is the cop investigating the trail of bodies that she leaves behind, Jacquie Fitz is the reporter whom Conte romances, and William K. Reed is the knowledgeable reverend who looks after troubled youth.

If the prospective viewer is looking for something that they can jeer at with friends, "Necropolis" should fit the bill.

By the way, if you think the score sounds familiar at times, that's because "Necropolis" uses music from the movies "Eliminators", "Trancers", and "The Alchemist".

Five out of 10.

This movie is about a witch that comes back 300 years later and dominates people by using mind control ideas into making people commit murder and suicide. This movie is awful, cheezy dance moves that aren't even fit for the oldest disco club in the world, cheap makeup that makes even the 80's version of Barbie look more attractive and fake rubber looking boobs. Need I say more, this movie is just plain terrible.

Yes, we know it's a bad movie. It's a film called Necropolis that doesn't focus on a graveyard!

However, how many films have a six-breasted witch wet-nursing zombies with ectoplasm? This mid-range b-movie clunker's good for providing a mild chuckle or two, particularly for the "satanic" interpretive dance numbers.

This is nowhere near as painful as TROLL 2 or MANOS, not that that should be a recommendation. Once upon a time, people - read teenagers - used to rent low-grade horror for the t&a and softcore sex.

As cheese it's quite piquant, but I wouldn't call it the stinkiest of cheese, we're talking mediocre awful at best. For film masochists like myself, it's just barely a diversion that you'll probably forget most of after the second beer.

This movie is a Great Waste of Time! A tired witch turned punk-rock bimbo tries to keep her youth (Duhh!) by sacrificing a virgin in New York City, but seems to have a bit of a problem finding one. I never have understood *why* a virgin has to be (a) female, (b) teen-aged; and, (c) pretty! However, if you want to see more of the same with the obligatory T&A - here's your chance! Poor acting, sloppy direction and choppy scenes. I hate to mention that the sound quality also seems to be lacking! Don't bother!

New Amsterdam, 1686: evil witch Eva (LeeAnne Baker) interrupts the marriage of Dawn (Jacquie Fitz) and William (Michael Conte), psychically summoning the virgin bride to a Satanic altar to be sacrificed in a ritual that would grant Eva eternal life. Dawn's throat is cut, but before the ceremony can be completed, Eva is killed by priest Henry (William K. Reed).

300 years later, and Eva, reincarnated as a peroxide-blonde punk biker chick with bad make-up, proceeds to suck the life energy from unfortunate New Yorkers to feed to her mouldy zombie acolytes (via her three sets of ectoplasm-oozing tits!); once fully revived, these manky minions seek out the reincarnation of Dawn, so that the witch can finish what she has started. Can Italian cop Billy and do-gooder Rev. James, the 20th century reincarnations of William and Henry, prevent her from succeeding?

Six breasts are better than two, as the old saying goes, but even with its triple-chested, zombie-suckling witch bitch, Necropolis proves to be a frustratingly dull slice of 80s schlock horror, with a dreadful script and uninspired direction from Bruce Hickey, and dire performances all round. There are, of course, a few giggles to be had from the sheer ineptitude of proceedings—Baker's embarrassingly bad impromptu interpretive dance routines are good for a laugh, as is the bloody decapitation of a zombie that continues to scream long after his noggin has gone—but when you're not sniggering, you'll probably be yawning.

3.5 out of 10, generously rounded up to four for IMDb.

When Empire Pictures folded back in the late 1980's Company founder Charles Band has often cited that the reason for his beloved company's demise was the many acquisitions that his company made.

One such pick up was this cheap and cheesy supernatural horror movie written and directed by Bruce Hickey, who as far as I can gather has never been tempted back to have another stab within the horror genre, of course for any of you out there who have actually sat through this movie, perhaps one bite of the cherry for Mr Hickey was more than enough for anyone to stomach.

However if you look beyond Bruce Hickey's initial involvement, the main point of interest for me was the man who produced the movie, that man of course being the legend that is Tim Kincaid, who was taking a career break from making gay porn to lend his name to this a few other choice Empire releases, remember such gems as Mutant Hunt & my own personal guilty pleasure Breeders.

The main star of this movie was LeeAnne Baker, who by all accounts was a personal favourite of Kincaid's as she turned up in nearly all of his low budget legitimate movies, whilst not overly endowed both in body and acting talent she did have that something special about her, and luckily given the lead role as Eva, the reincarnated witch, she goes about stealing virginity's all over the place.

A major highlight of the movie is when Baker's character suddenly develops multiple boobs and her minions of the night start to suckle upon her lady lumps, a seriously demented delight indeed.

The storyline doesn't hold much water, the sheer goofiness of it all makes it all quite endearing and the major attraction is of course LeeAnne wearing all her Lipstick, Powder & Paint, parading around the Goth chic you shouldn't cross for fear of your losing your mortal soul and virginity.

Charles Band's Empire may have vanished, but these pick up flicks that he chose to release straight to video are what made my teenage viewing all the more memorable.

A boobtastic 7/10

Okay, I know I do this to myself by trolling Impact Free Movies.. but jeez, man, find something with some quality.

This is the kind of crap they put on the shelves of video stores (remember when we had video stores!) in the 1980's when they realized that there weren't enough new movies coming out The plot is a witch from the 17th century is killed, but then comes back to life to resurrect her cult. Unfortunately, while she's hot and has powers, her cult members are all kind of rotting and disgusting. This is why you don't join cults, kiddies.

No one in this movie can act. The lead actress does a bunch of scenes where she dances "seductively" to pad this turkey out.

A 300 year old motorcycle riding punk witch looks for a virgin sacrifice in order to keep her youth.

Tries for style but falls flat on its face with some of the most inept writing, direction, and acting ever. This movie is one painful experience to set through. And the ending leaves an open door for a sequel, but think goodness one hasn't been made!! My rating: 1 out of 10.

Rated R for Strong Violence, Nudity, Language, Mild Sexual Content, Adult Themes, and a woman with more then two breasts. 77 minutes. It seems more like 2 hours though.

Satanic witch from the 1600's is reincarnated as an 80's punker with a short blond hair cut, biker clothes, a motorcycle, and heavy make-up. She sets up her cult in the ghetto's of New York and kills people in order to retain her youth and to make her cult stronger. Has some weird effects and a few original moments, but from a techinical point of view it's the pits. Editing that lets things drag & becoming boring and a low budget mainly sink this effort.

Rated R; Nudity & Violence.

Evil witch Eva (robustly played with lip-licking wicked relish by slinky blonde stunner LeeAnn Baker) gets burned at the stake in the late 1600's. However, Eva gets reincarnated in 1980's New York City as a spiky punker babe with the ability to manipulate people's minds and suck out their life force. Boy, does this delectably dreadful doozy possess all the right wrong stuff to rate as a real four-star stinkeroonie: The clunky (mis)direction by Bruce Hickey (who also wrote the seriously idiotic and nonsensical script), cheesy roaring 80's rock soundtrack, tacky gore, terrible acting from a lame no-name cast (Michael Conte wins the top thespic dishonors with his extremely grating portrayal of the obnoxious Italian cop hero), the gaudy Greed Decade fashions and hairstyles, tin-eared dialogue, a botched climatic raid on Eva's underground lair, and groan-inducing "it ain't over yet!" sequel set-up non-ending all provide a wealth of unintentional belly laughs. Better yet, 80's flash-in-the-pan East Coast exploitation fixture Baker makes the most out of her lone showy starring role: This lithe'n'luscious minx not only looks blazing hot in trashy black threads, but also busts some gnarly dance moves, utters plenty of paint-peeling harsh profanity (including the c-word!), and even at one wonderfully wacky point grows two additional sets of breasts (!) so she can nurse her robed zombie minions. Don Great's funky-throbbing synthesizer score hits the get-down groovy spot. The grungy New York City locations add a little gritty urban flavor. A total schlocky hoot.