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» » Mr. Stern, Can I Have Your Autograph? (2002)

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Mr. Stern, Can I Have Your Autograph? is the story of Clayton Stern, a paparazzo/ journalist who is unwittingly thrown into a chaotic world of family mystery, deceit, and ill-fame. One day ... See full summary
Mr. Stern, Can I Have Your Autograph? is the story of Clayton Stern, a paparazzo/ journalist who is unwittingly thrown into a chaotic world of family mystery, deceit, and ill-fame. One day out on the town while looking for tabloid headlines, Clayton meets Marsha Zonk, who offers him some juicy information that sounds too good to be true. Taking a liking to the young woman, Clayton helps her out in covering up a nasty smear campaign against America's favorite teen pop icon. However, the question Clayton must ask himself is whether he is being used as a device to promote the luscious young star. Damon Sanders is the corrupt game show host America tunes into every night. When Damon becomes the subject of a nation-wide scandal, Clayton must fight Damon's attempt to drag Clayton down with him. Clayton becomes caught in a merry-go-round of fascinating characters with secrets and ulterior motives, when all he really wants to do is devote himself to his long-time girlfriend, Carrie. But ...

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    • Author: Sarin
    "Mr. Stern, Can I Have Your Autograph?", is a whimsical take on the world of paparazzi and the lower, more 'underground', obsessive fans. MS,CIHYA? tells a particular story of this nature, in which a college drop-out undertakes the ultimate task: Getting the 'John Holmes' of Hollywood's elusive Daniel Stern. The film begins in Manturtle, Nova Scotia, where our 'protagonist', Guffy, attends college and is doing very well...so it seems. His grades are outstanding, but he is starting to sink further from syncopation as his Daniel Stern Homage nears completion. His giant closet is filled of various "Stern-ifacts", such as a Jersey from the hit cop-drama "Celtic Pride", to Joe Pesci's lower mandible, obtained while filming the flop "Home Alone". Guffy soon realizes all he lacks is a simple autograph from THE MAN, himself. Shot entirely on 8MM, the film has a disturbingly gritty feel at first, such as when we see other students mock Guffy (and even call him a 'nerd-psycho fag' in one groundbreaking scene). Soon, our man Guff heard that Daniel Stern will soon be in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, promoting his new film:"Where's All the Jobs?". The film soon becomes a fun amusement park ride as Guffy teams with his life-partners Arby and Steve Youngblood (together they're known as "The Hong Kong Danger Duo") in a road trip to destiny. This film takes many twists and turns, and the viewer has no choice but to allow his emotions to go on a spree of their own. There's the anxiety of the giant task at hand, where I kept asking myself: An autograph...from DANIEL FRIKKIN' STERN!?!?!?! HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? I MEAN, THIS GUY IS THE GREATEST AMERICAN ACTOR ALIVE! (well, second only to Steven Baldwin). There's the great chase scene when the Mounties realize the hijinks in tow. I won't ruin anything, but the scene when the Lady of the Lake gives Arby Excalibur, oh buddy, thats f***ing cinema, right there.

    I have nothing else to say, for fear of ruining the experience. BUY IT NOW!!!! MY RATING: 8,972,486,358,746,597,356,544 out of 8,972,486,358,746,597,356,545
  • Credited cast:
    Basil Bonk Basil Bonk - Clayton Stern
    Ayse Eren Ayse Eren - Carrie
    Megan Goldkamp Megan Goldkamp - Marsha Zonk / Tiffany Tear
    Jonas Moses Jonas Moses - Mickey Donald
    Ian Koller Ian Koller - Zonk Brother #1
    Erica Neal Erica Neal - Tiffani Tear's Assistant
    Charles Heuvelman Charles Heuvelman - Cary Boyle
    Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
    Aaron Crozier Aaron Crozier - Pimp Daddy Slim
    Giovanni La Fata Giovanni La Fata - Jim - News Anchor
    Angie Patton Angie Patton - Nancy
    Charlie Peterson Charlie Peterson - Valet
    R. Samul R. Samul - Frustrated Locker Guy
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