Le père Noël est une ordure (1982) watch online HD

This is the kind of movie you don't mind watching over and over again because its script is so rich, so full of wonderful dialogue and genuinely funny situations, that one view isn't enough to absorb everything. Ultimately, this is a film about the spirit of Christmas in the modern times. We live stressed and frantic lives, so why would Christmas Eve be different form a regular day? That's sort of the premise of this movie.

LE PÈRE NOEL EST UNE ORDURE is a black comedy, a very dark one, full of odd characters and bizarre situations. Themes like homosexuality, suicide and murder aren't left behind and spice up this crazy, passionate, comedy set on Christmas Eve.

The performances are plain terrific, with no exception. The characters are wonderfully defined and the dialogue is delicious. It's impossible not to laugh. a lot! After a relatively calm beginning, the wacky situations start to pile up in a frenzy rhythm. Being a huge fan of black comedies myself, I prefer a more subtle approach to the themes. The humor here is sometimes histrionic, theatrical and over-the-top. That can be easily accepted because the movie is adapted from a stage play and, in the end, it works in perfection.

Everyone in France knows this movie by heart. Sure, most jokes must be very hard to translate, and may seem very rude (Je t'encule, Thèrèse !), but there is quite a solid story, the acting is excellent and Jean Marie Poiré is at his best. Even Michel Blanc who is not appearing in the movie ( only a voice on phone) is good. The dreaded Anemone is really fun (once in her life) and for Josiane Balasko it is her very best movie ( except maybe for "les hommes préfèrent les grosses"). Not to mention the wonderful Bruno Moynot and Martin Lamotte. Too bad we don't see them more often on the screen. Too bad, too, France will never more produce such jewel, but annoying Asterix, and other visitors. Looks like Christian Clavier by itself is no fun and Alain Chabat is not very good ( I never liked him, nor "les nuls". Le père Noël may be qualified minimalist, or cheap production, but it is THE french movie of the 20th century. I gave it a 10, and I'm going to watch it one more time ( maybe the 200th time)

This is probably the first time I've read all the previous comments for a given movie and found not a single pan so far be it for me to go against the consensus. I've long been a fan of 'Splendid' both as a group and later as individuals (in fact I'm just about to add my comment on 'Monsieur Batignole' a comparatively new film by triple-threat Gerard Jugnot, the 'Felix' from pere noel) and this represents them at their very best, which is saying something indeed. I missed, alas, the original stage version of Pere Noel but the good news is it's now available on DVD so it's automatically on my 'must have' list. It's also going to be difficult to improve on the raves already posted here so really the best one can do is add to them. I think it's fair to say that this movie gives a new meaning to the old gag 'the Samaritans call ME', given that the main setting (it started out as a play, remember) is the run-down offices of SOS distresse amitie, the French equivalent of the Samaritans which is invaded - against the no-face-to-face contact Rule, natch, by three assorted fruitcakes - four, if you count Felix-and-how-could-you-not - the santa claus-suited, gun-toting boyfriend of the slightly enceinte Zezette (Marie-Ann Chaval). The most rational thing you can say about this is that it's difficult to separate the fruitcakes - Gerard Jugnot, Bruno Mayot, Marie-Ann Chaval, Christian Clavier, from the 'staff', Anemone, Thierry Lhermitte, Josiane Balasko, in fact the title of the pathetic American remake 'Mixed Nuts' says it all (but don't rush to see it, it's light years away from the original on the wrong galaxy side). Incredibly they pack all the mayhem into one hour twenty eight minutes and that includes the best part of a minute on Establishing Shots. To attempt to describe the labyrinthine plot is a new way to grow schizoid so suffice it to say this is THE surreal comedy they all have to beat. 10/10

you can realize that this movie is great just looking at this title. How a christmas night can become the most hilarious movie in French History. Written and played by the friends of the "Splendid" before they split and make other less funny flicks, le pere Noel is a trash look at surrealistic characters who are going to live the most incredible christmas day of their life in the office of "SOS détresses amitié", a phone service in charge to help people feel better . The american remake "mixed nuts" is a shame, that's why, if you haven't see this masterpiece yet, try to get it by all means (legally).

Definitely one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. It's a family tradition to watch this film every year at christmas since it came out on tape :D The dialog is so witty, quotes are so memorable, "vous voulez cracher, Therese? Non, car c'est offert de bon coeur"... All classic stuff.

I have seen this movie yesterday for the Xth times. After all these views, I still cannot get tired of it. Yesterday, I was wondering when this movie was actually happening. It is actually dated of 1982. 21 years ago. And after all this time every single piece of humour you see or hear is stil funny.

Ok, the sets are a bit old fashioned but stil represents the type of low-end apartment you could find in Paris and that would be hired by an non-profit association like SOS Detresse amitie.

I don't know what makes this movie so present and why it is impossible not to find it funny after all this time. I think it is the ability to make laugh by taking the opposite of the common sense.

Another interesting point is that the Pere Noel has been adapted from a theatre play written and played by the same actors as in the film. And the movie doesn't look like a filmed play as it often is. There's been a great job in the adaptation of the text as well as the story (because there are some important differences)

I am afraid I will see this movie every year and always laugh with it.

There are some movies that you can watch several times and each time you find them better. Le père noël, after a play of the same name, is definitely among these. The dialogs are so rich (and always funny), that every watching reveal you a reply you didn't notice. Every character is well defined and written by/for the actor who plays it with a rare intensity. That's a movie you can't describe or quote out of its context and just have to watch. If you're French, you might already have seen it several times, so this movie is popular here, otherwise I suggest you to watch it, hoping you'll share this typical French "humour".

Because of a nearly sole scenery, you guess that Jean-Marie Poiré's movie is the adaptation of a play. If the first minutes of the movie seem weak, what comes next makes them quickly forget. As soon as the nearly sole scenery (the flat of "SOS Amitié") appears on the screen, there is a ripple of dialogs, the gags follow on from each other. The whole is supported by an either devastating either nasty humor. We're very far from the crude vulgar humor in "les bronzés" (1978). Let's add actors who are all excellent (Thierry Lhermitte, Gérard Jugnot and Christian Clavier in front). They have a tremendous time in the shoes of their respective characters and they perfectly portray them. The best movie from the "Splendid" crew and one of the highlights in French comedy.

I must have seen this film about 100 times : Le Père Noël... is probably the most famous french comedy ever done, at least in France, far, far more famous and cult than the recent "Le diner De cons" (which is not cult at all, plain funny and that's it). Le Père Noël wasn't a real hit when it got released (it was in fact the movie version of the same-titled play), but it gradually became THE reference in cult comedy amongst french teenagers. I don't even see what the equivalent could be in the States. Anyway : each and every line of this film is sheer fun delight, total trashy-meets-uptight-meets gory-meets-nonsensical humor. Obviously untranslatable and mainly based upon the very subtle depiction of each character, most of the specific expressions of the film are now part of everyday language. It's not even a must-see for every french movie-goer since everyone has seen it at least once in his life. For those who don't cringe at french humor (nothing scatological here), this is an absolute topper in fun. Highly recommended.

This movie is my favorite! Every person in it is messed up in one way or the other, which I believe is a perfect start for movie. I must have seen this one over 10 times and it's still funny, and gets even funnier! There are many hidden jokes, especially for those that don't speak french (like myself). I don't know if there's an english subtitled version, I sure hope so 'cause this masterpiece must be seen all over the world! And, by the way, DO NOT watch that rip off Mixed Nuts!

Like all French film comedy dialogs are almost impossible to translate into another language, a pity because this is a comedy feast of humor, sometimes very dark. The story is simple, it is just an excuse to create a series of hilarious situations in which actors are a pleasure to spread wickedness and stupidity from the sublime sometimes flirt with the excellent taste bad. I do not know if the French actors (Josiane Balasko, Thierry Lhermitte, Gérard Jugnot, Anemone, Martin Lamotte, Bruno Moynot, Anne-Claire Chazel, Christian Clavier, Jacques François) are known in the Anglo-Saxon world, they are famous France for their many comedies, often acidic. The American remake is a true abomination, that it is better never see.

I just noticed that two of my all-time favorite comedies were both released during my birth year, one is "made in America" and you've probably heard about it: "Tootsie". But I'm not so sure about the other, it's called "Le Pere Noel est une Ordure" aka "Santa Claus is a Bastard", if you're French, you already know it's a classic. If you're not, I seriously doubt you've heard of it, but if you have the chance to watch it, go ahead, you won't be disappointed, believe me, it's a laugh riot and most of the jokes won't be lost in translation. Only don't expect a sugar-coated fairy tale with a Miracle at the end, the film isn't your typical Christmas movie.

"Santa Claus is a Bastard" is the movie adaptation of a stage play from 1979 starring the 'Splendid' actors who co-wrote it with Anémone, who plays Thérèse, the female lead. The film marks the come-back to the big screen of the Splendid Troop: Christian Clavier, Thierry Lhermitte, Gérard Jugnot and al after the two opus of the "Bronzés" series. Their films met with modest commercial successes but through the years and many airings on TV, they became more and more successful and today, it's only justice that they're regarded not just as cult-classics but as some of the funniest pages of French Comedy's book. "Santa Claus" is no exception as it made less than 2 millions in the box-office, probably because of the provocative title or the untimely release (on summer) but it's still better than many films directed by Jean-Marie Poire, his "Visitors II" made more than 7 millions spectators, but it's pure rubbish compared to his early classic.

There's not much a plot in the film, it follows the nightmarish journey of a bunch of neurotic/misfit characters during the most sacred day of the year: Christmas. Now just imagine two volunteers at a telephone helpline for lonely and depressed people, the geeky Pierre Montes and Therese, a well-to-do woman, "not ugly" according to Pierre, but who "just doesn't have easy looks". Now take Josiane Balasko as Mrs. Musquin, the hot-headed colleague who's stuck the whole night in a malfunctioning lift. Take Katia, the depressive transvestite in love with Pierre. Christian Clavier is convincingly feminine for that part. Take a trailer trash couple : Félix, an ex-con using a Santa Claus outfit to sell Sexy Christmas parties leaflets across the street, and his wife, the heavily pregnant Josette, Therese's best friend. Last but not least, a Bulgarian neighbor, Mr Preskovic bringing his country's food to the great displeasure of Thérese and Pierre. Now, you have the most colorful gallery of characters, of any Christmas movie.

Every actor plays its part with perfection, never trying to outshine the other, and as soon as the first gag starts, when an African Santa Klaus tells Felix to beat it, there is not one minute in the film that doesn't feature a visual gag and a classic funny line, what would you expect more from a comedy. See, there are two levels of fun in the film, carried by two opposite forces, there are the anarchic characters that don't give a damn about Christmas spirit and take it as an opportunity to eat or make money, or find sex or love and those who try to embody the spirit of Christmas out of charity, help and empathy. Therefore, Therese can't refuse hospitality to her friend Josette, Pierre can't refuse a sensual dance with 'Katia' and both Therese and Pierre can't refuse to taste Mr. Preskovic's delicious Dobicous from Sofia. They look awful, and their reactions are priceless, but when Mr. Preskovci specifies that ""They do taste home-made! Hand-made, and rolled under the armpits." My mouth was empty but I thought I was the one who would choke to death looking at Lhermitte's face.

Thierry Lhermitte, far from his usual boyish and charming looks, is really impressive as the mild-mannered and calm Pierre, so calm that when he snaps and starts insulting Therese when she accidentally hurts his finger during an attempt to help Mrs. Musquin, it's so unpredictable, so out-of-character that the laughing effect is almost tripled. And there is something both touching and poignant in his interactions with Therese, these two have something going between, and like carried by the magic of Christmas, they didn't forget the gifts. And what gifts! Pierre painted a portrait of her naked with a smiling pig, surreal humor at its best; she offered him a sweater, "A floor-rag." He screamed. 'How beautiful! I'm so happy!" Realizing his mistake, he admitted he needed something to go to the trash room. The movie is cleverly written, not a surprise from the team who wrote the two "Bronzés" films. By the way, I love to consider it as the third of an unofficial trilogy rather than the third official "Bronzés" film made in 2006.

Everything works perfectly in the film in every cinematic level of humor, dialogs, subtlety, surrealism, slapstick, it's perfect and carried by top notch performances. Gérard Jugnot is wonderful as the hot-headed Felix, Josette as his hysterically crazy wife. Thankfully, the whole mayhem of the film is punctuated with calmer moments. The slow between Pierre and Katia with the 'Destinée' song is one of the most memorable of French cinema, and plot's crescendo evolution goes on and one fluidly and perfectly until the inevitable outburst of violence and a final explosion of sex, so natural that we're not even shocked, sooner or later, it has to explode. Still, for a film so chaotic, that it remained to keep certain coherence with a shrinking and stinking cake, an albino rabbit, a corpse, a transvestite shot in the foot is a remarkable achievement.

To conclude, I will paraphrase one of the most hilariously ambiguous lines of the film, and say "I hate to speak ill of movies. Such a nice film indeed!"

If you speak french a bit, you will find this movie great .

I'm surprised Hollywood has not made yet a remake !!! Anyway , great story, hilarious situation, the "splendid" was at its peak when they realized this movie .In fact , this movie is first a play that was recorded , then they decided to make a special film . I have seen both and i have to say , the film is better than the play. Some of the scenes are unforgettable, in particular the one where they exchanged their gifts for Christmas . In many occasions , other french filmmakers tried to retrieve the same chemistry but this movie was unique and couldn't be match. If you have a multi-zone DVD , you can buy it from Amazon.fr in Zone 2 format .Good watch .

This is one of these films in your country that for some reason, somehow, has transformed into a national treasure. People will immediately dislike you and frown at you when you recall how you don't think it's a good film. They'll immediately think there's something wrong with you, when really the film isn't even that defensible, it's not like the film is amazing on any level or anything, it's just a crowd favorite. Objectively, this comedy is well enough constructed in that it allows for wacky scenarios to take place and go berserk from there, all sorts of strange happenings in subplots that eventually connect. The gags are those of a prude society of the time (early 80's) liberating itself with silly, stuck-up eruptions of vulgarity whether verbally or through act. It isn't really funny, most of the comedy here being cheap sex-oriented, taboo type humor. It's barely entertaining at all to watch now, moving back from it in the later decades, but at one point this was the absolute blast of absolute blasts, and it's hard to even imagine this is the same Jean-Marie Poiré who, a decade later, would go on to write the mythical, legendary "Les Visiteurs", for this reviewer, the single greatest french film of all-time.

A huge French comedy classic that is available to English speakers on amazon.co.uk. The story revolves around 5 main characters...all weirder than the next: a psychopath dressed as Santa, his dumb pregnant girlfriend and 3 volunteers working for SOS Distress (a help line). It all takes place on Dec 24th and goes really wrong in an extremely funny way. It's definitely a dark comedy but it's simply hilarious. The awesome dialogues just keep coming and it all escalates to even darker and funnier moments. The actors were all part at that time of "Le Splendid" comedy group. They made a few movies together including "Les Bronzes font du Ski" which is excellent too (also available on amazon uk). Anyway, for anyone interested in French comedies, this one is one of the best!!

This film was hugely successful in France when it came out. It is an adaptation of a play and deals with the trials and tribulations of the French equivalent of the "Samaritans" one Christmas evening in Paris. The actors are all well known and the plot, although inexistent, is rendered unnecessary by the magnificent performances of the actors. However it should be stated that the humor in the film is specifically destined to the French market. It is not universal humor, like for example, Mr Bean, Charlie Chaplin or Louis de Funès. The humor is often black and crude, there are some lighter moments but I honestly cannot see this appealing to many people living outside France. Knowledge of the French language, culture, and some understanding of what makes people laugh here, is necessary. There obviously will be exceptions to this statement, but of course I am talking in general terms. The film contains many famous lines and statements - notably Thierry L'hermit's famous "C'est cela !!) used every time has to listen to someone complaining and where he couldn't care a toss about the object of the complaint. There is also a neighbour in the building who brings along to the Samaritans one of his culinary specialities from an Eastern European country. These are called "Dou-bit-choux" and are apparently prepared by rolling them under one's armpits !!! In one instance a sex maniac calls the switchboard and vents all his desires on the lady (Anémone) who is unlucky enough to take the call. The film ends with one person who has died being cut up into pieces, parceled up and taken to the Zoo de Vincennes to be disposed of as food for the animals. All this is, objectively, quite sick, humor-wise but it is easy to become inveigled into it while watching it. I think that non French speakers may have some difficulty as the tone of the film is rather particular.

From the comments it seems that English-speakers may not have seen this film in any great numbers - anyone who likes The League of Gentlemen should give this a go as there are some big similarities. It starts off as everything you would expect from a French farce, but gets far darker and horrific in the second half. The Canal+ DVD I saw has American English subtitles. Definitely worth a try if you like black humour.

It is the funniest movie I have ever seen, period. This is a cult movie in France, absolutely hilarious. 100 times better than the american remake (I don't even remember the title). If you haven't seen it, please do yourself a favor, get it by all means.

For people that don't watch French movies too often this is certainly one you have to watch. All the actors from the comedian group "Splendid" are all amongst the best comedians from France. I must have see this movie like ten times and still it makes me laugh like it was the first time. Just thinking about some cult scenes in it makes me smile. The dialogues are of such high level in comedy that almost everyone that I know that saw the movie remembers every punchline from this movie. Josiane Balasko as the uptight boss of SOS Service, Thierry Lhermitte and Anémone as the warmhearted employees, Christian Clavier as the frustrated gay, Gerard Jugnot as the psychotic bad Santa, Marie-Anne Chazel as the little bit retarded wife of Santa, and Bruno Moynot as the unfortunate mister Preskovic are all sublime in their roles. I just can't wait for Christmas to watch it again...

A French black comedy that is set during the Yuletide period (one of the protagonists spends the entire time dressed up as Father Christmas) and can therefore be seen to have anticipated BAD SANTA (2003) by some 20 years! Unfortunately, I watched the film – which seems not to have been released outside its country of origin (and, in view of a potentially offensive title that means SANTA CLAUS IS A BASTARD, actually had trouble setting up a publicity campaign!) – in French without even the benefit of subtitles in that language (this practice used to be a given on the TV channel where it was shown but it has regrettably been dropped of late!), thus missing on a good deal of the dialogue (though I could still follow the plot). Most of the proceedings take place inside an apartment where a lonelyhearts helpline for the festive season is based; the two telephone operators (a man and a woman, both reserved, while she is a complete washout at knitting – making three-fingered gloves and presenting her colleague with a jacket which looks more like a pauper's rags!) are beset by numerous calamities and, amid all the fracas, realize they are attracted to one another. To begin with, their landlady gets trapped in the elevator for the longest time (she tries to grab their attention by incessantly blowing on a toy trumpet!), then they receive a visit by a wacky relative of the woman – who has ditched, and is being pursued by, her even more unbalanced hubby (the titular figure). Afterwards, one of the desperate callers presents himself on the spot, only he turns out be a transvestite!; later still, a tenant of Islamic descent repeatedly shows up at the door with various Oriental dishes which our heroes invariably find repugnant and try to get rid of (most hilariously, a log cake gets thrown out the window and plummets onto the rear windshield of a taxi-cab parked down in the street, smashing it!). The bickering 'intruders' cause the lion's share of the mischief: after the woman hits the man squarely in the face with an iron, they rush him to a clinic where he is to be treated there and then – unfortunately, the elderly owner was on the point of going to some party (with a much younger girl) and is all dressed up, but then his white suit gets covered with chocolate squeezed out of the afore-mentioned log-cake when someone inadvertently sits on it! That said, the most side-splitting scenes occur towards the end as the couple, still at each other's throat, fight amongst themselves for possession of a gun – first, they shoot the transvestite in the leg and then empty the cartridge in the direction of the entrance to the flat…except that, just then, the apartment block's handyman was calling and he drops dead inside as soon as the front door is opened! While the wounded party is bemoaning his fate in the bedroom and the telephone operators succumb to their passions in the bathroom (the woman needing a shower to be revived after feeling faint at the sight of the corpse), husband and wife are finally united in a common cause – disposing of the stiff in the kitchen, where they cut it all up and wrap the dismembered body parts as if they were Christmas gifts!; to wash their hands clean of the deed, the two then persuade the rest of the group to feed the unfortunate's remains to the various wild animals at the local zoo!! All in all, then, this is a pretty good farce – and, being much in the same vulgar vein as the box-office smash LA CAGE AUX FOLLES (1978), ought to be better known.

Listen, each time I try to write about this film, I do it too long, too convoluted, too...Too! So simply : WATCH this film! It's a legend! It's insanely funny! It's insanely witty! The plot, the actor's play, the layout, the atmosphere, everything's top of the top! It's the best of the best of the best ever comedies! There...Feels better!

Now the plot : It's Christmas eve, a very special moment for French people (think of it as Christmas crossed with thanksgiving if you're from the US), in a parisian apartment doubling as office of a help line for suicidal people.

The staff are used to odd types, but only from a distance.

But this evening their quiet, narrow, petit-bourgeois lives will be totally upset by the intrusion of Josette and her former "boyfriend" Félix, two hillbillies (Felix is costumed as Santa Claus for he just took an odd job, advertising a Christmas peep-show on the streets).

To add insult to injury, Katia, a transvestite sick with loneliness, manages to sneak in, notwithstanding the usual intrusions of Mr Preskovic, immigrant from Bulgaria and neighbor to the help line, desperately trying to woo Thérèse, one of the female staff.

With all these conflicting characters the evening can only descend into chaos, and it will, of course, in a very dark and joyous way! Once again : WATCH THIS FILM! Ah, and please note that this is a DARK comedy...Therefore expect plenty of foul language, explicit sexual language, half-hidden sexual and implicit gore situations!