Histoires de sexe(s) (2009) watch online HD

In the soggy tradition of SHORTBUS and 9 SONGS comes SEX STORIES. This tedious talkfest, punctuated by brief XXX flashbacks, is a bore made by pseudo-intellectuals for, you guessed it, pseudo-intellectual porn fans.

Ovidie, known for her XXX acting roles and mainstream appearance, cum on the face and all in the film festival circuit stinker THE PORNOGRAPHER, co-directed with Jack Tyler, whoever that might be. Their collaboration amounts to a double zero.

Basic structure is a bunch of the guys sitting around talking about their conquests, while the gals do likewise in a typical coffee klatch. The sex that unfolds is desultory, and in common with the fake "high-mindedness" here, it is strictly safe sex. Even a blow job is executed with a condom on, safe to be sure but uncinematic.

One attractive couple earns the lion's share of the porn footage and a cover photo on the DVD box to boot. My favorite was a blonde woman named Nomi, who appears in other Ovidie videos, and who is a dead ringer for one of my favorite '70s actresses, Mariangela Melato (memorable star opposite Giannini in Wertmuller's classic SWEPT AWAY).

The DVD box calls this a comedy, but it's about as funny as a Henry Jaglom home movie. Thank God that twerp never ventured into hardcore territory (or even near the line like his fellow bottom-of-the-barrel auteur Amos Kollek has).