Busty Cops (2004) watch online HD

"Busty Cops" is the kind of movie I come across while flipping by the channels at night. I didn't really plan on watching it the first time I saw it, but I'm glad I stuck around for the whole thing.

It starts out as a standard crime caper--three women are bumped off at a porn movie shoot, and nobody knows who did it. Enter the Busty Cops--Max (Nikki Nova), Chloe (Jesse Jane), and Ashley (Katie James). They're supposed to represent the best and the "bustiest" the force has to offer, so they go deep undercover as porn stars (not much of a stretch here) in order to solve the mystery. It's CTCWB, no doubt about that--but it's much, much more than that.

The story itself only exists to get the girls to the house--after that, it takes a back seat and lets the Busty Cops do the rest. These women use the most ordinary situations as excuses to take their clothes off and engage in HLA--Hot Lesbian Action. For example, as soon as they get to the house where the porno is being shot, Chloe suggests they all take a shower. Why? Who knows, they're naked--and fulfilling the softcore movie requirement of at least one shower scene. Later on in the movie, the girls come downstairs and find nothing to eat in the fridge--but there just happens to be cans of whip cream and plenty of bottles of chocolate syrup just waiting on the counter. Why? Who cares, they're naked--and covered in chocolate syrup.

Also, don't miss a sexy scene featuring Angel Cassidy, who's trying out to be a Busty Cop. "Let me show you my qualifications," she says, and then proceeds to do a little standard-issue striptease. At that point, I couldn't even remember what the plot of the movie was. Let's not even start on the "Fortress of Bustitude." Wow.

Of course, there was plenty of hilarious dialogue, and even though the director's name read Harold Blueberry, this thing had Jim Wynorski's fingerprints all over it. Jim and Fred Olen Ray have the screwball sex comedy B-movie down to a science. The ending sequence, showing funny outtakes and an interview with the cast, was funny and satirical at the same time. It made fun of other movies that have weepy, sugary-sweet cast interviews about how great it was to make the film, and all that great stuff.

I haven't talked about the sex yet, because there wasn't very much of it. The opening sequence three-way and a decent scene featuring Jesse Jane was about all the sex there was. Of course, there was plenty of HLA, but that goes without saying.

I consider this movie tapeworthy, even though there wasn't a whole lot in the "Sex" department. The sex scenes weren't that long and were largely comic in nature, but they served their purpose. If you like comedy along with your naked women, this is the movie for you.

Women: A- (I liked Jesse Jane and Angel Cassidy. Katie James had that "wholesome" look. Nikki Nova took some getting used to, but she's not bad at all.)

Sex: B- (It was average at best. A few sex scenes, but nothing too hot and heavy--even the all-girl scenes were simply OK. The extra points are for the chocolate syrup/whip cream exchange. I liked that.)

Story: C (From what little story there was, it did what it was supposed to do, and that was have an ending. If it didn't have that, this film gets an F for sure. It had a couple of spots where it dragged a little, too. Since I at least got an ending out of it, and since I enjoyed the funny dialogue, I'll be nice and give it a C in this category.)

Overall: A- (I'm giving this movie an A- because it was a funny movie throughout, and I like watching comedies. The 2/3 of a point deduction comes from the story dragging in places. This film would normally get a B or a B+ from me, but thanks to Jesse Jane's determination to go as long as possible without clothes, I'll give "Busty Cops" some extra credit points. I'd recommend this movie to anyone who likes sexy, screwball comedy B-movies.)

What could have been just another soft-core excursion into R-rated erotica is in actuality an hilarious sexy comedy. Starring Internet babes like Nikki Nova, Sunny Leone, Deanna Merryman, Angela Little and even super hot adult porn star Jesse Jane, BUSTY COPS is chock full of funny jokes, hilarious skits and knockout naked ladies. The chocolate syrup scene is worth the price of admission alone. And check out the Dali Llama moment. Believe me, this is unlike any other flick of this type. You'll be laughing one moment, then getting hot flashes the next. Debut director Harold Blueberry has made an instant classic. Let's hope he keeps them coming. Can BUSTY COPS 2 be far behind.

Truly one of the poorest made B movies ever committed to video. The opening scene is quite promising, but why are the actresses looking at the camera? It is an incredibly hot scene, though, and well worth staying up late for. Mr. Jacobson's lines are extremely funny and well delivered. But the incredible cast of hard porn actresses are laughable only in their apparent and obvious incompetence. most of the film is an homage to plastic surgery and breast enhancement. The outtakes at the end make the film worth watching. The hissy fits thrown by Seanna Ryan and Nikki Nova are priceless. Seanna insists that she is not an actress. well, she has gotten that right! Nikki becomes upset during an interview and storms away from the camera. Jesse Jane remains, trooper that she is, and bears the brunt of the viewers judgment. Quite a sympathetic moment. Was that really Kelli Summers? I found that so hard to believe after seeing her in Lord of the G-Strings.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*

I saw this on cable the other day. "Busty Cops". That's what the program guide said. Did you think I was going to miss a movie called "Busty Cops"? Never! The movie starts off with two chicks making out in a hot tub. One of them was Kelly from the "Kelly the Coed" porno movies. I knew I was in good hands.

So there's a murder on a film set and the Busty Cops have to investigate. This leads to a lot of nudity. Nikki Nova was the tall, brunette, Busty Cop squashed between two short blonde cops. My God, she is hot! Nikki and friends search for clues in between lathering up in a hot tub and pouring chocolate sauce on each other.

This film was excellent. There are a few softcore scenes in this one but "Busty Cops" is more interested in having the cops get naked and wash each other off. There is a lot of cleaning going on here. Clean busts are good. Real good.

One last thing, one scene has two random chicks having sex in front of a fireplace while a song called "Love my galaxy" blasts on the soundtrack. This completely asinine song distracted me from the action. It also begs the question, how does someone love a galaxy? Massage her nebula? Kiss her Black Hole?

An open letter to Jim Wynorski:

In the 80's and earlier 90's you used to be such a good talent. But ever since the Clinton administration your product has been on a steady decline. Now I've seen "Busty Cops" and have lost all faith. I guess it takes talent to have that much nudity and still be not the least bit erotic or entertaining. Oh yeah, the outakes/fake interview to pad out the credits was horrid beyond belief. What has happened to you? That's a rhetorical question, as I never expect an answer to this rambling, I just had to get it off my chest. This is the last film I will ever see a 'movie' with your name attached to it, my friend.

My Grade: F

Where i saw it: Cinemax

If you enjoy surgically enhanced breasts, then you must watch this show. If you do not enjoy surgically enhanced breasts, then you are not likely to enjoy the show. I think there is very little more criteria for determining who will enjoy this and who will not, since the surgically enhanced breasts are nearly the entire show.

As for plot, it is done with a sense of humor and does have the advantage of comedy. I think the plot could have been written during dinner with a few friends having a little fun.

The women are good comedians. As for acting, let's just assume that they knew it would be more humorous if they did not act well. Okay?

this film opens with a hot girl on girl hot tub scene, which soon becomes a threesome after a man joins them. after a few minutes, another man walks in. the camera only focuses on his feet so we do not know who it is. this man picks up some kind of electrical appliance that his lying somewhere near the hot tub and throws it in electrocuting them and killing all three of them.

the movie continues when a detective is called and he sends three girls called the busty cops (jesse jane, nikki nova, and katie james). all three of these women are absolutely gorgeous but i would have to choose katie james as the hottest. as the busty cops try to crack the case, they question other girls who knew the two girls that were killed. however,they always seem to forget what they are doing because they always end up with there clothes off and having sex with all these other beautiful girls (not that there is anything wrong with that!. therefore, a lot of nudity follows! other than the opening scene, most of the movie is all girl on girl scenes, except for one in which jesse jane seduces and has sex with the boyfriend of one of the murdered girls in order to get information from him.

most of the scenes were hot but some seem as if they were just filler to make the movie seem longer. for example, when nikki nova and katie james go to question one of the girls (i think it was teluca lake), the interrogation turns into to some kind of dance party. also, some of the scenes break away from the plot and become more like auditions of girls who want to become busty cops. one such scene is a solo striptease and another one is a girl on girl scene near a fireplace, which was especially hot in my opinion.

however, some parts just seemed fake. for example, after the busty cops find out who the killer is, they enter with guns and kill the murderer, but if you notice katie james does not have a gun in her hand at all. bullets are flying out of her fingers! i thought this was absolutely hilarious! i also didn't like the fact that the girls in the movie were more focused on looking at the camera rather than forming any kind of sensual connection with their partner. the fortress of bustitude was amazing though and if you watch the behind the scenes feature on the DVD, you will find out that they actually built the entire thing from scratch for the movie! the overall storyline wasn't bad either!

Okay, so here's a soft-core film with some a couple good jokes and plenty of female nudity. And hey, there's even outtakes at the end!

Look, this isn't Shakespeare and, thank God, it doesn't try to be. It's a paper-thin plot full of excuses to have random scenes of women with fake breasts groping each other and smearing food products and soap on each other. It's pretty much all girl-on-girl stuff and that's about it. If all you are looking for is a movie to jerk your gherkin to, you pretty much found it. And as far as comedic soft-core films, this is probably one of the funnier/better ones.

If the movie is boring you, try this drinking game to get yourself totally sloshed. Every time a character breaks the fourth wall (looks at/talks to the camera or establishes that an audience is present), take a shot. 45 minutes into it and you'll be tanked.

[mild spoilers ... so watch out!]

This is not bad late night cable fodder. It is actually not that easy to put together a porn movie with any notable running time that does not at some point because totally tedious. The fact this flick put some effort into the um story (we are talking movie here, so it is often helpful to have one) was appreciated. And, I also enjoyed the closing credits -- the outakes/interviews were amusing, especially if one realizes this is not Moliere here.

The plot of course is basically ridiculous, but at times it helps that the film winks at the audience. It involves three brave members of the "busty cops" division (who knew?) going undercover to investigate some suspicious deaths on site at an adult movie set. The bit where the crusty lieutenant determines if they are properly stupid (or so seems to be the idea) was a good touch.

They are ... as well as being properly slutty. Of the three, one is marginally not a total whore on appearance alone (see the movie site), the blonde interviewed at the end. Isn't it sometimes a good thing to have some women in these films that don't look like total sluts? You know, the "girl next door" look is sometimes pretty hot too. Also, implants aren't always totally great to look at in these sort of movies ... they sometimes are better if not so um emphasized.

The action is pretty good ... girl on girl basically. Some laugh at loud because it is so stupid dialogue. Good bit with a talking llama. A conclusion that is also amusing, again because it looks so fake. And, a nice final shot.

And, as noted, I think the stuff during the end credits was amusing. Of course, it would help if the brunnette could act a lick, but that's not quite why she is there, is it?

I'm a big fan of the film Busty Cops. William McRoy wrote one of the best porno scripts i've ever read in my life. This film almost had a plot. I've seen this film multiple times on cinemax and showtime. I have enjoyed the film each time I have viewed it. I was a big fan of the hot tub scene. This film is much better then "Spiderbabe" and "Lord of the G-Strings" combined!

This film has made me want to enter this industry. It has inspired me to make many pornographic films about lesbian vampires. I guess you can say "I'm a dick, I'm addicted to Busty Cops". Turn on showtime/cinemax any night at 1 am and I guarantee you will enjoy what you see.