Weekend Lovers (1978) watch online HD

Fans know they're in BIG trouble when a film starts with that famous sound effect of a car crash to stand-in for an entire opening scene that's been omitted. (It's a sound effect Top 40 deejays used to use like clockwork back when I was growing up.)

Cut to MILF Pat Manning at the doctor's office, complaining of injuries to her posterior, suffered in that unseen "rear-end" auto collision. The doc looks (not surprisingly) like a bearded porn actor who clearly never went to medical school, but he dutifully takes X-rays. He's played by the journeyman performer of many a clunker, R.J. Reynolds.

Inviting Pat to visit his boat the next day to recuperate, he leaves her to male nurse Tom for a massage. The bruises on Pat's ass look mighty convincing, probably real rather than makeup effects on a no-budget picture like this one. Certainly Dick Smith wasn't put to work concocting them.

Her session with Tom leads to sex and some pretty grisly gynecological tight closeups of Pat's vagina (strictly for fringe fetishists' consumption). The doc joins in for a threesome.

Signalled by the opening non-scene, it's no surprise that the boat excursion attended next day by the trio is faked. We see footage of them leaving the harbor and occasional shots out on the water, but the usual "sun & fun" footage is wholly lacking.

Instead we're treated to humping below decks and humping of the doc/captain Reynolds behind the wheel.

Lovelies Tracy Walton/Alice Bigge and Maria Tortuga are visually impressive humping away, with Tom getting in his licks. After a threesome with the doc, they head for shore, even though the visuals of calm waters don't match the description of heavy seas.

Claustrophobic visuals continue for the orgy in the doc's landlocked pad, involving Alice's large massage/vibrator. Tortuga delivers anal sex and there's plenty of money shots as they writhe on a shag rug. The guys leave, with film ending at the beginning of a three-way lesbian clinch.

Shill writing on the back of the SWV video box speaks of a "black stud named Butch" in for the orgy, but WEEKEND LOVERS consists exclusively of a lily white cast. It's a pleasure to see Bigge and Tortuga in action, but this ranks among their least interesting efforts. It's been issued on Vol. 210, near the end of Something Weird's voluminous Dragon Art Theatre series.