The promotional blurb for "LA Slasher" calls it a "biting, social satire of reality TV and the glorification of those who are famous for being famous."

Unfortunately this film is so poorly made, acted, cut, and designed as to render it a complete waste of time. It's such a train wreck, you can't possibly even decipher what's happening on screen for its 90 minute runtime, which seems like five hours, at least.

There is no real story. Basically an anonymous white-suited masked psycho (voiced by Andy Dick, no less, which doesn't exactly raise the credibility factor) targets and then systematically slaughters airhead Twitter-made celebrities. Not in itself a worthless concept. If "LA Slasher" were made with even borderline competence it could be a poisonously fun black comedy.

The real problem here lies in the script, which is incoherent. A good first third of the film is spent introducing a slew of forgettable, woodenly-acted victims, but no story arc really exists. When they're killed, there's no pay off since you don't care about them. And Dick's slasher is either sniggeringly annoying (and unfunny) or downright vile ("Die you f**kin bitch" and variations thereof are his and the screenwriters idea of witty repartee).

Let's talk about the technical aspects for a moment. Even the opening credits are so badly created that they are almost out of frame in the HD cut I watched. Some of the set designs range from dirty warehouse to scummy hotel room to someone's living room. Even the Heiress and the Socialite live in places that are so badly dressed they look as if they were shot in the back of an abandoned flea market storage warehouse. Mischa Barton is one of many actors who stand around looking vaguely comatose, not knowing their lines or not caring to know them.

All of this amounts to a very depressing, pointless pile of garbage that's ultimately as empty and spiritless as the "problems" the movie's title antagonist sets out to "solve." At one point there was a "detective" (see the credits here on IMDb) so it seems a dramatic arc of some sort was written and even filmed, but apparently this film's aim is to appear as dumb as the targets it poorly lampoons. The best thing for "LA Slasher" to do is off itself. So many people will thank it.

When Hollywood's most abhorrent and talentless reality TV stars begin disappearing only to resurface tortured and bloodied, a white-suited maniac, looking like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky, is hailed as a celebrity himself.

While socialites and narcotics taking producers raise eyebrows wondering if they might be next, a home audience, raised on a diet of pop culture, reality TV, and the dream that anyone can be famous, await the latest viral video of the killers masterpiece.......

L.A Slasher, or Abducted, depending on where you are on this planet, tries to be a damning essay on pop culture, social networking, and the fame monster, because everyone at some point wanted to be famous.

And although the film works to an extent, there is really nothing new offered here, as we've already seen the media and public celebrating and exploiting killing twenty years earlier with Natural Born Killers, and the film has an overall Bret Easton Ellis feel to it.

Take away the pivotal element to the narrative, the internet, and this is a film straight from the eighties, from the video games, to the television sets, to what could already be the soundtrack of the year, the film feels a little out of time to have a such a critique in its message, making it ten years prior, the film would have had more of an impact, and a bigger realise.

Like the narrative depicts, the characters are wholly unlikable, so when they get their just desserts, you couldn't really care less. And when we have the public talking heads celebrating the fact that so one is killing these talentless wannabes, you can't help but reference Micky and Mallory Knox.

So all in all, it's not a terrible film, just a little late coming.

Great soundtrack though.....

I believe the only way this movie got a rating that low is because of it hitting a nerve. In fact, everything about this movie is beautiful, especially the 80 - early 90-s stylized score. Well. of course, it's not a cinema Hall of Fame masterpiece, but it certainly doesn't deserve a score that low. The acting is bad - so bad to show how actually bad is the acting in modern shows and movies. Misha Barton fits perfectly, since she doesn't even know how to act. The rest of the characters - you want them to die from the moment they appear on the screen, that's the general thing about slashers. You might deny it, but you all know you want it - you would love to watch a whole Kardashian family slaughtered. Because that's the only thing they're good for.

Yet another film with a semi-decent idea marred by shockingly awful execution. Understood what 'Abducted' (aka. 'L.A. Slasher') was trying to do, for me it just didn't work and is as bad as the rating and previous negative reviewer says it is (not everybody will agree and that's fine).

Got that 'Abducted' was aiming to show how badly people act in reality shows (and there is a lot of truth to that) and how annoying they can be (again true, every reality show has at least one detestable contestant, often for controversy reasons). For me, 'Abducted' took it way too far. Am not sure whether it was the intent to have the victims so obnoxious that you are rooting for their deaths or at least to the extent it takes it, but not in a while have a whole cast of characters in any film seen recently been this terribly written or hateable.

Just as bad is that 'Abducted' completely fails to make one root for the villain, which one would kind of expect when you hate the victims so much. One with quite good potential, but he manages to be one of the most annoying and least sinister villains in the whole of psychoville. Andy Dick was just completely wrong for the role and that one is laughing in embarrassment rather than getting chills at his acting is not a good.

Eric Roberts is wooden and looks uninterested, while Misha Barton looks as though she had just escaped from a drugs rehabilitation centre (apologies if anybody finds this distasteful, just my thoughts while watching). Dave Bautista and Danny Trejo are completely wasted with very little to do, and the rest of the cast have even less other than act as obnoxious as possible.

'Abducted' looks terrible. And not just in spurts, we are talking about second one right up to the ridiculous finish. Everything just looks so chaotic and like a visual eyesore. In terms of audio, it adds absolutely nothing and often at odds with what little atmosphere there is.

The very few times it's coherent, the script is completely unnatural and the amount of cheese, illogic and dumbness borders on unbearable. The film is very sluggishly paced, the direction even more so and the story execution is a disaster all on its own. Even more incomprehensible than the script, it is choppy, dull, ridiculous and with no tension or suspense whatsoever. Even when giving 'Abducted' a fair chance, staying awake is a chore and the want to bail becomes stronger and stronger as the film wears on.

All in all, terrible in every way. 1/10 Bethany Cox

Good horror, comedy: reminds me of some of my favorite firsts like Toxic Avenger and They Live... If you are 30+ years old you may appreciate this more, it's about a killer who go after reality TV stars (Remember when that crap was the buzz?). Haha, go in drunk, not expecting much and this movie is fun. Lots of fun with good, big name actors. Watch it now!

This is not your classic 10 star film and indeed some might consider it the worst film they ever saw. As a hater of the scripted reality TV shows, I appreciate someone creating dark irony over my contempt.

The plot is simple. Reality TV stars are being kidnapped and killed/abused. The killer seems to love Big Hair 80's music, and unfortunately they used too much faux 80's music, but I got the idea. A person who seeming loves the artificial aspect of the 80's that many older people loathed, goes on a crusade against people who are "famous for being famous" as he teaches them "the price of fame." While he is doing this, he is becoming famous, as we discover he has his own fan base who believes he is doing society a favor.

People who use "totally", Facebook, Twitter, and do Selfies are at risk. Reality TV is "the birthplace of morons" and "doesn't count as acting." There are reality star look-a-likes in this feature filled with dark humor. No one in the film has a name. They are simply known for the reason they are famous. The film doesn't center on anyone, but rather gives everyone a few minutes of character identification. We have no real background on the slasher and the end production credits doesn't identify the slasher, but IMDB does...as two different people, one for the body, another for the voice.

The film shows gallons of blood but no gore. You see the knife move and moments later there is blood. Seldom do you see the actual act of violence or close ups of wounds. No severed body parts. It is not a slasher film that is "gore-centric."

Guide: F-bomb. Brief sex. Background stripper nudity. Eric Roberts playing "Clockwork Orange." Again, this film is not for everybody.

Death to Reality TV.

I think it is safe to say that humanity is over reality television. Everyone wants to be famous for nothing, but the LA Slasher has something different in mind.

Dressed in garb that imitates the oddity of Michael Jackson, a self appointed crusader against the insipidity of Hollyweird decides he's had enough. Bubbling over with uncontrollable anger, he turns his violent urges to those responsible for today's preoccupation with trash television.

With character names such as "The Actress" or "The Teen Mom" or "The Drug Dealers" you really get a sense that the characters of this film are nobodies, just like their reality show counterparts. This detail is just one of the many subtle ways in which LA Slasher acts as commentator on modern day pop culture. In case you are a little dense, from watching so much junk-TV, the dialogue spells out the film's sentiment:

"Everybody hates reality TV. But they watch it just so they can tell you 'bout how much they hate it. Whatever problems you have, change the channel until you find somebody who's worse off and then suddenly your life doesn't seem so bad, does it? Well let me tell you something: it is that bad."

And who better to voice these disdainful monologues than the pseudo King of Reality Rubbish, Mr. Andy Dick, the voice and man behind the LA Slasher. Unfortunately these meta nods to garbage television end there, as no other humorous cameos make an appearance with the exception of Brooke Hogan. Some C-list actors like Drake Bell, Mischa Barton and Eric Roberts get to make fun of their personas by representing the loathsome reality-TV archetypes.

Based on the context of the film, I imagined LA Slasher to be a comedy-horror hybrid and it is not, nor does it try to be. The cinematography is deliberately saturated to mimic the grotesqueries of reality television and perversities of LA. LA Slasher also gets the soundtrack right with an 80s dance vibe. Midway through the film however, LA Slasher starts to lose its edge as it veers too far into the absorption of entertainment news with reality-TV and borders on monotonous when a change of pace was desperately needed.

Perhaps it would have been more successful if it tried to blur the line more into horror, but then again, perhaps that added burden would have doomed the film to certain failure. Regardless, I'm a sucker for this type of film and LA Slasher has humor, smarts, a cohesive plot, interesting dialogue and a unique point of view.

Please check out Archon Cinema Review's website for full reviews of all the recent indie releases.