House Shark (2017) watch online HD

Who thought this should be an hour and 52 minutes long?!?

One can't watch a movie called "House Shark" and expecting a horror movie that's scary and thrilling. BUT, one has to watch "House Shark" for what it actually is: a lovingly and funny homage to all of the shark movies (mainly, of course, "Jaws"), where everybody is in on the joke and they're having the time of their life.

This is a fun, micro-budgeted, clever little movie that is more astute than the vast majority of flicks you see on SyFy (or the like). All right, they don't have drones or cranes or state-of-the-art special effects - so what? The movie has a pulsating heart, and it was made by people who cared, and who are having fun.

Why shouldn't you, then? (also, the underwater scenes are shot in one of the most clever way I've ever seen - and they are totally efficacious) Overall, a very fun romp into the shark movie realm.

The quinn wannabe was a bit irritating and the effects if you can call it that were pretty cheesy. if you wanna try and be as bad or worse than mulva zombie ass kicker as the worst movie ever might wanna try a bit harder. after 10 mins i was looking for the exit and should get a medal for finishing this one. i wouldn't recommend it even for a time killer and you have better things to do.

This is about as unapologetic as they get with what it is. It knows it. It embraces it, and it runs with it full steam ahead. It's a low-budget, absurdly goofy homage to JAWS, and a few other films. Everything about the film works because of that fact and they seemed to just run with it. It has all the issues you often find in lower budget films, but it doesn't hinder it from being enjoyable. In fact, that aspect enhances what's wonderful and awesome about it.

This isn't going to be a film everyone is going to enjoy. In fact, outside of a niche group of film lovers and JAWS fanatics, I'm guessing it would just leave people scratching their heads. It's lewd, crude, and goofy. The humor is very tied to what they are referencing, and at times very juvenile. Don't get me wrong, those are the things I loved about it, but they are a big part of the movie and everyone might not appreciate those aspects.

This is one I want to have a bunch of friends over for and have fun with. It seems like the type of film that would only get better with a crowd.

My Rating: 6/10

Shark movies and shark spoof movies are all the rage. House Shark, not to be confused with the SNL Land Shark, is far more comedy than horror. Franklin Roosevelt's Liverpool home has a House Shark. He teams up with Zachary Taylor and Abraham Lincoln to get rid of the shark so Reagan Realtors can sell the home.

For some reason, everyone is named for a President, or wife, or dog...and a restaurant is Julie's. The film co-stars Wes Reid because he has the last name of "Reid" which works for Sharknado. He sure can't act.

The style was Troma. The humor quit on clever early and opted for gay, vulgar, and juvenile. The execution of what could have been decent humor was poorly done. When the film is badly camp all the time, it loses its effect.

Guide: F-word. Nudity (Samantha Varga )

This movie is shockingly bad and this is coming from someone who loves bad movies and the cheesier the better. Honestly bad acting is to be expected in a movie called House Shark but what I didn't expect was for the main 3 guys to be sooo annoying I wanted to turn it off. The Abraham Lincoln wannabe and the Scottish house shark expert were most annoying. I waited for some really funny/bad lines and some stupid kill scenes. You get nothing like this you dont even see a shark for almost the whole film.

If you want to see a so bad it's good shark movie go watch Raiders of the lost Shark or the Sharktopus movies (much better then Sharknado). I can't believe I paid $3 for this. I'm off to watch Sharkopus vs Whalewolf to try and forget this crap.

One of the funniest and and gory movies I have seen for a long time. Pushes the boundaries of what seems funny to disgusting. I loved every minute of it. Ron Bonk and Jonathan Straiton are two of the most creative directors I have seen lately and with the cast it even makes it better. Trey, Michael, and Wes are the funniest team of shark hunters I have ever seen.

Don't watch this stupid movie it's retarded it's not funny or scary it's just terrible can't believe people actually paid to have this made

Terrible acting terrible everything don't bother it's crap

I can honestly say, I have never spent time in life worth living then how this movie made me feel. The movie was shot with great quality, an beautiful acting, no sub plots were ever not fully fleshed out, no characters were ever not fully introduced to the audience. I could watch this no on repeat for days. Great time would recommend!

Just dyabollically awful! Offended that a Short Animation of mine was the support screening at a film festival, before this!

HOUSE SHARK is a revolting parody send up of JAWS. Its raison d'être is to be as absurd, disgusting and as over-the-top as possible in every conceivable dimension, and on these counts it exceeds its own objectives admirably.

In the interests of full disclosure, I did not watch the entire picture. My own sense of humor simply does not run along the same lines as HOUSE SHARK and my personal reservoir of tolerance was overflowing within the first 15 minutes; I just couldn't take any more. This fact notwithstanding, I'm confident I have a good grasp of the movie and where it was going. I think you'll see why.

The "plot" of HOUSE SHARK is that there is a certain breed of shark that attacks people within their own homes. Based on this sturdy scaffolding, HOUSE SHARK riffs on JAWS, bodily-function humor, ancient and worn-out horror movie tropes, excessive gore, and any other repugnant thing it can think of.

Absolutely every element is ramped up as much as possible, far beyond over-the-top and over-saturated until it's running off in rivulets. If it's gore, as an example, it's applied in dump truck loads.

Here's an example scene:

Within minutes of the movie's beginning, a babysitter gets up to go to the bathroom. To accomplish this, arriving in the bathroom, she removes literally every stitch of clothing. While not gorgeous, the actress is attractive enough, but just as we begin to settle in to the animal pleasure of viewing an attractive naked female form, she settles down on the toilet and proceeds to raucously urinate as if she was a racehorse. Evidently fearing this representation was too subtle, she lets go with a few resounding blasts of gas, and thoughtfully says "Damn period gas".

Suddenly, our perspective changes and our viewpoint is apparently that of the house shark swimming up through the sewer pipes. And then it gets even better; the house shark arrives at its destination and we're looking at the babysitter's behind framed charmingly by the ring of the toilet seat. And then the attack begins.

At the conclusion of the babysitter/toilet shark attack scene (note that I have left out some intermediate material here), the bathroom is hosed down in blood, the toilet seat is broken, and the bowl and rim of the toilet is heaped in what appears to be shredded babysitter.

If I sound like I'm being hostile to the movie, I am not. This is simply newspaper reporting.

You will note that I have given HOUSE SHARK a 7/10 rating. While I personally found this movie to be odious and repellent, I am constrained by my personal rating philosophies to give a fairly positive rating. Giving a movie a low rating because you don't personally like its genre I fundamentally hold to be unfair. Reviews should always judge movies based upon their own merits and not stand in judgment of whole genres simply because you don't like them. I believe we reviewers stand in judgment of movies, not of genres.

HOUSE SHARK is what it is and, as disgusting as it is, it is exactly what it intended to be. The wooden acting is completely in keeping with the type of movie it is. I literally imagine the director shouting, "More wooden!" and "Jane, you were far too believable in that last scene. Come on, dull it up a bit!"

I can't say exactly what genre it is from which HOUSE SHARK hails, and it may in fact be a genre of one for all I know, since I have never seen anything like it. But it cannot be disputed that it hit its target squarely, and I am perforce required to give it a good rating as a consequence.

On a final note, I must admit that I did find its specific parodies of JAWS somewhat funny. The opening title scene parallels JAWS in both music and subject matter. While in JAWS we slid low over seagrass accompanied by threatening music, in HOUSE SHARK we float low over yard grass and garden plants to music that is a clear ripoff of JAWS signature ominous music. The babysitter's sitting naked on the toilet is a direct parallel to "Chrissy" going for a naked swim in the first killing scene of JAWS. As "Chrissy" received a few initial probing yanks from the shark in JAWS, so our babysitter gets a few good initial yanks while sitting on the toilet in HOUSE SHARK. Somewhat against my own will, I did find these points funny. They were the closest expressions of "subtlety" in HOUSE SHARK.

It is the worst B movie EVER made. Don't waste your time.

If you like Jaws and have a soft spot for the Sharknado/MechaShark genre, you will LOVE House Shark! Campy, silly and gory! But with heart. It looks like a great amount of fun went into making this. And that fun is in full view on the screen. Pop some popcorn, sit back and get ready for laughs, scares, blood and more laughs.

This movie represents what the Scary Movie horror-satire films would have resembled if they had been given only 1/26th of their budgets, had lesser-known names attached, and had taken greater creative risks. Everything about this one is phenomenally, unequivocally, apocalypse-evokingly awful and that's what makes this intentional train wreck a moderate success. It set out to be one of those so-bad-it's good films and manages to land on its' feet , if wobbly. I chuckled aloud several times. They really tried to line up more punches than a hangry Mike Tyson on a meth binge. There were no breaks and no brakes so managing just a handful of lol moments isn't an outstanding achievement though still a better performance than most genre competitors.

HOUSE SHARK is another excruciating indie 'comedy' that takes place in a house that's been invaded by the titular creature. A bunch of goofs turn up to get rid of it for good, and there you have a film with an inexplicable two-hour running time. The only good thing I can say about this film is that it makes the SHARKNADO franchise look much better by comparison. The papier mache shark is an embarrassment, as are the "performances" by the assembled cast members.

I love bad movies, even when they know when they're bad. This movie just doesn't seem to do a whole lot with the "house shark" concept. The character of Abraham was just irritating and completely unfunny. It started out fun but the last half of this movie just goes on forever. Also it's way too long. Dumb movies like this should be 90 mins tops. I don't think I laughed once.

Really Lame and boring movie. It feels like it was made by high schoolers. Random shark movies have ran its course already. Unoriginal, just be done with the Sharknado rip offs already.