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» » Playboy: Queen of Clubs (2004)

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    • Author: Yozshujind
    Billowy clouds of cellulite is glamorous?

    About myself: Staunchly opposed against censorship, and outspoken on the subject in my own country. I love Playboy magazine and consider it classy and elegant throughout. I have refined tastes when it comes to the fairer sex.

    Decades ago, I saw some "Queen of Clubs" nude dance contest thingie, and I was trying to locate that, when I found this modern version. Alas.

    Nightmare visions. Vulgar, off-putting. The Raven might never recover. And to think I took my BITTEN DVD starring Laura Vandervoort out of the player to watch this. Yuck. This. Yech. I am ashamed. Deeply ashamed.

    I am about to dish out stellar advice. Once in a blue moon, I write a review that is going to be of some tremendous use to the people out there. I feel one of those coming on. What you do with this information is up to you. But be warned. Be warned.

    The only other reviewer here is spot on. I should have listened, but I found a cheaper option and got it for a whole lot less, and with the prospect of a "bargain" I went for it, falling hook, line and sinker.

    This is hideously over-priced worthless garbage.

    Playboy magazine represents the ultimate in class and elegance and style. But this, this, this... total trash... hijacked the brand and is fouling up the logo. What we have on stage, aren't Playboy Playmates, but girlz from da hood, walking, talking, tattoo taxis. Not an ounce of glamour among the lot of them. A better title would be Shameless To The Extreme. I wouldn't want to be in a room with these fish-faced girlz. They are an embarrassment. I could only tell you about some of the on-stage proceedings if this wasn't a family site. Disgusting.

    Mercenary money-hungry low-lifes demeaning themselves beyond the most lurid description. To an audience as thick as two short planks, too stupid to realize these aren't exactly prime examples of the real thing.

    Alone on an island with the cast? I'd rather play with myself, thank you.

    And my negativity's got bugger-all to do with skin color. It is all about their whory looks. These are cheap tramps elevated to temporary status for a brief couple of minutes.

    My advice would be: if you have any ANY trace of decency inside you, to stay away from this effrontery. Trash fallen by the wayside. Sub- human. Apes at the zoo might provide fun. This is not fun. Not my kind of fun, anyway.
  • Cast overview, first billed only:
    Gloria Velez Gloria Velez - Herself - Hostess
    Crystal Knight Crystal Knight - Herself - Hostess
    Leslie Segar Leslie Segar - Herself (as Big Lez)
    Mami Chula Mami Chula - Herself (as DJ Mami Chula)
    Shawty Shawty - Herself
    Janet Jacme Janet Jacme - Herself
    Bone Crusher Bone Crusher - Himself
    Killer Mike Killer Mike - Himself
    Big Gipp Big Gipp - Himself (as Bigg Gipp)
    Brian Casey Brian Casey - Himself
    Brian Hooks Brian Hooks - Himself
    Mr. Marcus Mr. Marcus - Himself
    DJ Jelly DJ Jelly - Himself
    Ayana Davis Ayana Davis - Herself
    DeRay Davis DeRay Davis - Himself
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