Splendor in the Sack (1970) watch online HD

SPLENDOR IN BED/(THE SACK) is a truly lame early porn film. Both versions out on video (via After Hours Cinema and competitor Something Weird) are lousy.

Because a husband-wife team of some prominence from porn's early days are toplined, the film has modest historical value. But they have been better in every other film I've seen thus far.

Aussie-accented Pete Dawson has sex with a hooker in the opening scene, shredded in both extant versions. Fellatio is merely implied visually and the sex is simulated, so it is likely this was never a hardcore film.

Camera-work is particularly poor, even by porn standards, with haphazard framing, only exacerbated in the AHC version due to their insistence on cropping off 20% of the frame at top and bottom in some mania to market the concept of "widescreen" to an unwashed video generation. I suspect these NJ clowns would try to reissue Chaplin and Keaton classics in "widescreen" ratios if they ever get off their current porno jag.

Rest of the film consists of a nonsensical sort-of-plot wherein Dawson's wife (his real-life wife Jan Davis hiding under a tall & terrible wig) seduces her cute & short virginal maid Angie. Jan then supposedly plots with her against hubby, when in fact she ends up holding the unfortunate lass down while Dawson rapes her upon his return home.

This final reel is styled as a roughie, but despite Angie's screams and our married couple's callous manhandling of her, it is going-through-the-motions soft porn. I suspect a XXX approach, or some bondage/domination action, would have given this segment more bite.

The unknown actress playing Angie is a looker, though vertically challenged, and one suspects the bad experience of shooting this trash cured her of any ambitions to make it big in (porn) movies. Dawson & Davis prove fallible this time - they needed a director or facsimile thereof.

This movie has no story. It is just three successive sex scenes.

In the first we see Jan Davis waking up and sexually satisfying herself. This scene is very explicit and the filming of it is ugly.

In the second scene the maid enters the room and the two of them have a lesbian encounter. Less explicit, but filmed in the same ugly way.

In the third scene Pete Dawson enters the room and a trio starts. This is not filmed explicitly and is extremely boring.

It is possible though a real hardcore version is in existence, which our friends at Something Weird Video were unable to dig up. This movies raises one single question only: why the hell did they make it? The budget probably was about a penny, the actors are not beautiful, nor interesting. The whole movie is filmed in one single room. Avoid this one at all costs, for it has nothing to offer whatsoever.

To me a 1 out of 10, because I can't go any lower.